I Want to Share a Dream.

Wow. I am filled with so many emotions as I reread my limited posts.
It's now 2017 and I have left IdRaHaJe roughly a year ago -- time marches on.
I'm working with Severe Special Needs kiddos in Castle Rock now and trying to figure out where God is taking me. (That much hasn't changed I guess.)

I want to share a dream of mine.
One that I have hoped for but never thought possible.
One built out of respect for my brother.
A dream that started 8 years ago.

To hike the John Muir Trail.
211 Miles.
20 days.

I wanted to write this blog a few months ago but never could start it. So much has happened with this dream but the main thing is God. I feel He blessing this trip and encouraging me to go. In giving God the glory, I also have to trust Him with the logistics. What I see and what God sees are two different things.
My prayer is that God aligns them.

I get the privilege of hiking this trail and sharing this dream with a lady who has become a sister to me. We bonded over transplanting house plants on the kitchen floor in the mountains and shedding quiet tears on fence posts watching horses at dusk. Deep talks and loud laughs. Silent drives and frantic runs.

Together, we want to glorify God and use this time as a sabbatical. At least 3 days will be done in complete silence spending time in our own minds with our Abba.

All for Gods glory.

Love,
Always.  

Remember Truth.

Well.  It seems as though I have once again let time lapse before I decide to write on here.

IdRaHaJe has become a home. Through this, I have realized that God has allowed me to live my dream of calling the mountains home. God puts our desires in our hearts; he created us. When I remember this truth, I am able to relax in the presence of God and trust Him with my future.

I will be working for camp until at least August; first for MLS then as a wrangler. I don't really know what will happen after that, but I'm excited to see where God will take me, who I will meet, and what I will learn.

Side note: I want a tattoo. 

Uncharted

Where He leads, I will follow.

The simple phrase I have sung so many times with my mother now makes more sense. I have been many places in life and now again I find myself flying back to Colorado in the morning for the next chapter. I have closed the undergraduate college chapters for uncharted territory.

At the time, I have gained a job as a Mountain Lab Instructor at the same facility that I worked at this summer. This pays until November 1st. I have little expectations of what lies ahead except that God is with me and will never leave me. This is the easiest departure to date except for, perhaps, freshman year --  four years ago.  This is due to God. He has shown me a lot about trust this last summer; trust in His character, His plans, His love. Also, I do not "bring God" with me... God is already at work there and all over the world. I am simply His hands, feet, or whatever else He calls me to be...
 Where He leads, I will follow. 

Great is Thy Faithfulness

Sometimes I truly do not understand God. I know I am not alone in this thought; the psalms proclaim and confess the mystery of God and King Solomon writes in Proverbs: We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps. Abraham and Sarah were wanting a child yet they had to trust in God because Issac did not com until late in their life. 

These last few weeks have been a roller-coaster ride without a doubt. God has been teaching me, and is teaching me, how to fight for justice with a gracious heart. There are 67 days until graduation and I find myself fighting for my license to teach. If you had asked me if I thought this would be the case at the beginning of the year, much less three weeks ago, I would have said no. There is so much I have to be grateful for, yet part of me wants to simply say, "OK God; I'm done. What now?" Yet... There is a part of me that is trusting in God and trying to allow the Holy Spirit to provide me strength.

This chorus and verse come to mind when I get discouraged:

Great is Thy faithfulness!

Great is Thy faithfulness!

Morning by morning new mercies I see. 

All I hath needed Thy hand hath provided; 

Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me! 

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth

Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;

Strength for today ad bright hope for tomorrow. 

Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside. 

Post Grad

Oh man. Where do I start? There are 13 days until Christmas break and 156 days until graduation -- Crazy! This leads me to the question of what am I going to do post-graduation. If I'm being honest, I have been half talking to God about it. I know that it should be fully but right now it's really hard to ask what He wants me to do with my life. There's a song from Hillsong called, "Oceans" and it says:

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

This is a terrifying thought... but so exciting at the same time. Do I finish my application for IdRaHaJe or search out another camp? Go home? Stay at Connections and help them move and work with those kiddos? 

I was talking to Mum and Lee about working at IdRaHaJe this summer and my general thoughts about what to do and the answer was one that I will always love my family for: We will support you and never stop praying. So now I guess it's time for me to spend some quality time with my King only to lay my requests before Him and wait in expectation (Psalm 5:3)

In the mean time, the question comes back around to: what should I do this summer? Next year? 

The answer: Praise my Savior. Go wherever He leads. Love His children and be a listening heart both to others as well as to the Spirit.  If I am willing, God will use me. 

Running

It's so easy for me to always run to a person rather then the Lord.
Today is Sunday the 11th and I was supposed to be moving into the new condo but apparently the carpets aren't done yet and we can't until tomorrow. This wouldn't be such a problem except I have teacher meetings at 8 in the morning with Kullerstrand and Denver traffic is a beast so I'm not staying at my previous stay.

Who do we talk to when things go bad? Who do we rejoice with with things are good? Yeah, the Sunday school answer could/should be the answer: Jesus. I don't have much of a point but.. We need to be running to God when life gets confusing, frustrating, unsure, great, relaxing, or set in place. Earlier today was good but right now that I'm trying to figure out where I'm staying the night, my emotions/faith is shaken. Am I really that weak? Or am I that proud? I know that God has my back in all situations but I discovered yesterday that I am scared of making the wrong decision -- but that's for another time.

Today at church we talked about fearing God not life around us be it family, people, situations, life. It was what I needed to hear because when I fear God, I shouldn't fear about where I am in life. How much more precious am I than a sparrow?

80 Days!

So as the title presumes, we're leaving in 80 days!! I am so excited! There are two weeks left of school including Finals and then we are all headed to our summer places only to come back and meet up in DIA on the 15th :) I'm curious to see how God will prepare us in our separation just as he has in together-ness.

I have talked to Kevin, our contact in Russia, and he was very positive and excited for us to come. It was great to see the face of those we will be serving!

I know this is small but I wanted to write something because 80 days is pretty close to the actual day :) Please pray for the unity of our team under Christ and that God will be growing us together. Also, for Kevin and his family as they are over in Russia year round that they will have a good beginning to their summer in preparation for our help.  And lastly, for the Russians we will meet and talk to, that we will be able to build relationships and speak truth into their lives to the best of our ability.

Во Христе (vo khrestya -- In Christ),
Kait